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                   When my husband and I married, we were very fortunate. Even though our families were different from each other, they did share some similarities which made it easier to adapt and fit in. Each set of parents welcomed their child’s spouse into the family and accepted them wholeheartedly.Continue reading “Navigating Family Rules”

            In the business community, good leaders build a powerful team by sharing power, not by building themselves up (falsely) by imagining they can hoard power personally. This same principle is what works best in marriage. A husband and wife, acting and interacting as equal partners in their marriage, are more effective and powerful thanContinue reading “Husbands and Wives: More Powerful as Equal Partners”

            Ezra Taft Benson, a past president and prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (1985-1994) is quoted as saying, “What does it mean to love someone with all your heart? It means to love with all your emotional feelings and with all your devotion” (Matheson, 2009, p.14).             An invaluable pieceContinue reading “Holding Nothing Back”

            Within a short time after marrying, most spouses have probably noticed certain “flaws” in his or her spouse. Even before marrying, hints of irritating behaviors may have become apparent, but the spouse figured he or she would get used to them over time—or get the spouse to change. Don’t expect this to happen. ItContinue reading “Charity Never Faileth”

In one of my lower level marriage classes, one of the activities I completed was interviewing an older couple who I knew to have a healthy and vibrant marriage. The husband was the bishop of the local congregation (known as a ward) of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when we moved toContinue reading “Conflicts are Inevitable, How We Cope is the Key”

            There is perhaps nothing as damaging to marriage as pride in its many manifestations. It is pride that jettisons the “we” out of marriage in favor of honoring the “me.” It is elements of pride that: get in the way of creating covenant marriages as opposed to contract marriages set loose the negativity ofContinue reading “Changing the Focus from “Me” to “We””

            Many couples plan romantic trips as a chance to reconnect with one another. My husband and I left our daughters with my parents and took a short trip the year before we had our son, and we had a wonderful time focusing on one another and on our relationship. It was many years beforeContinue reading “Better than a Romantic Getaway”

            “You find – or you see – what you are looking for.” That is a saying I have heard many times, and I have experienced for myself that it is true in many situations in life. If we choose to look for the positive, we will find it, and if we look for theContinue reading “Changing What We See”

            Several years ago, my husband’s extended family held a reunion at a dude ranch in Colorado. I was overjoyed that I could enjoy daily horseback riding activities. Before heading out on one ride, the guide warned the riders to keep their horses reined in because if one horse started to run it would causeContinue reading “Reining in the Horsemen”

            In my husband’s law practice, I’ve encountered many people seeking to end their marriages. Some of them had bought into the popular myth that marriage is a 50/50 partnership. However, when couples buy into this belief and assess their marriages by a 50/50 standard or as an equal partnership, it leads to such thingsContinue reading “Contract vs. Covenant Marriage”